Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Cigarette Burns

So today, I am really worried about one of my friends, and her family.  She contacted me on Monday night, and I like an idiot left my phone on vibrate and in my purse, and missed her text and call.  I texted her back two hours after I rec'd her message, and haven't heard from her since.  The reason for her call at 8:00 at night....  her niece had been burned on her back with a cigarette by the girl's father.  I don't know the extent of the burns, how old the child is, or even if she is OK.  I am very worried about the entire situation, and very angry.  What would posess a grown man to take a lit cigarette to the body of his own child?

I've been burned before, by my own carelessness.  Not by a cigarette - as I don't smoke, but when I was 12 years old, I decided to use my hand to see if the stove was still hot.  I didn't put the tip of my finger on it... oh no, I set my entire palm down on the burner.  For weeks I had the red gaping circular burn pattern on the palm of my hand, and was miserable.  I am right handed, and it would have to be my right hand.  I still have the faint scar from the ordeal, but I learned not to do that ever again.  Much safer to get your fingers wet and splash a bit of water on the burner (if it's not a ceramic top) than to set your entire palm on it.

I have dropped the curling irons, and blow dryers on my leg and yes... even my face.  Nothing like a blow dryer grid on your cheek to explain to everyone, or being asked if you have a sailor tattoo at band camp cause the red grid peeking out of your shorts on your thigh looks like an anchor bottom.  Really who would ask a 15 yr old if she has a sailor tattoo.  *sigh*  I still to this day feel HORRIBLE for burning my sister's ear when trying to help her curl her hair for a dance we were going to.  This is the sister who left her children with me.  She never let me forget about it, and used to joke about how lethal I am with a curling iron.

I have scars on my arms from working as a cook in a nursing home kitchen and having burnt myself pretty bad getting food in and out of the oven.  The hand on the stove, and arm on the rack are the only two burn scars I still have to bear for the world to see.  The rest faded with my dilligent application of creams, or just weren't even bad enough to remember.  When asked about these scars, I can explain, even laugh about what happened to others.  But how do you explain to anyone that the scars on your back are because daddy got angry one evening and decided to take a lit cigarette to your body.  It makes me sick, it makes me angry.  I want to find the guy and do the same to him and scream, "so how do you like this!" the entire time.  I know that would solve nothing.  It would get me thrown in jail, and would make it impossible for me to keep custody of my angels. 

Then I realize through my anger that I just don't have it in me to do something like that to anyone.  Even when the children were being hurt by others, I couldn't step in and scream, yell or do anything like that.  I waited in the shadows, and stepped up to the plate when the moment was right.  I believe in karma, and that people will get what they give out three times as much as they gave it out.  I don't want to be on the recieving end of bad karma, so I will continue to try and send out good vibes, and just wait patiently till this jerk gets what he deserves for hurting his own child like this.  I hope my friend contacts me back soon, and I will give you an update on the girl's condition if I hear from her.  You must understand that my imagination runs away from me some times, and I can't help but picture her beating the hell out of this guy for hurting her kin like that, but then the rational side of me is calmly saying, "now T, you know she is no more capable of that than you are". 

In other news, The Vampire has had two bite free days, I am praying today will be another.  We rec'd the chewelery in the mail, and she has worn it.  I must commend National Autism Resources, for getting the product to me so fast.  I ordered it on Friday and had it in my hands on Monday.  I had put in the comments when ordering the product that it was for a three year old with biting issues, I am so glad that they seem to have taken that into account.  I plan on calling today and giving my praise!  Uncle M and I have been working very hard with her on her feelings, and social interactions.  If she cries I say "You have tears on your face.  You seem sad.  What are you sad about?"  Then she will tell me and we talk about it.  Or I will say "I see a smile.  You seem happy!  What are you happy about?"  Again, encouraging her to use her words to express feelings.  We have changed the name of the time out chair to the calming chair because we are trying to mirror the school as much as possible.  I am hoping and praying that this works.

The Drama Queen is doing very well in tap.  She seemed to surprise even the dance teacher last night when demonstrating a new dance step that they were going to learn.  I was so proud, and told her so.  She is very excited about some fall/Halloween festivity that is happening at school this Friday.  I love to just listen to her talk when she is this happy.  She told me on Monday morning, that she was a little sad because she didn't remember what her mommy looks like.  I told her that I can get her some photos if she would like, so she can remember.  She said at that point, "OK TT, but please don't give me photos of when she was a baby because I didn't know her then."  I couldn't help but smile, and re-assured her that I would make sure they were of when her mommy was an adult, and that she would remember.  I have a few hanging up in the basement.  We have just been so busy that I haven't had the time to take her down and point them out.  I will do that tonight after our very first parent teacher conference! 

Aunt TT

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