Monday, October 11, 2010

"NO doesn't work for JJ"

I would be ecstatic to write that we have had countless bite free days with our lil Vampire, but she bit on Friday (10/8).  She got a little boy in the face, and I got a call about it by 10:30a.  She was able to restrain herself the rest of the day, but she seems to be backpedaling with the biting and peeing in her pants.  EVERY single night she wets the bed and at least once or twice during the day.  I feel that with the wetting thing, she doesn't want to stop playing, or get out of bed alone at night to go to the potty.  She won't tell us, "hey, I need to potty".  She just pees herself and continues on like no big deal...  I have had her to a few doctors appointments in the last few weeks.  One was the dentist to check her teeth out and make sure there is nothing going on in her little mouth that would prompt her to bite.  She has also been to the ENT (Ear, Nose, Throat) to have the tubes in her ears checked - he said that everything looks just as it should, the tubes do not look as if they are starting to come out yet, and not to worry about anything, but bring her back in December for her next check-up.  Just last week, we visited the primary care physician (well one of them... cause it's a luck of the draw type situation when you're on CareSource) for her yearly physical.  I had hear ears checked thoroughly at that visit as well, and was told there is no infection, and everything looks wonderful.  I was also told that the urination in the pants is normal, and I should just continue to use positive reinforcement and keep reminding her to use the potty.  I can't help but feel sometimes, that it's not working.  I can tell that something is going on with her, though.  I feel that she is starting to get another ear infection, because she complains of loud noises, and has an increased amount of ear wax in her right ear. 

The therapist that has been seeing our little vampire weekly, has decided that she has done all she can do for her right now, and that she doesn't see the need to continue seeing her right now.  She had all but stopped biting, and was doing much better at controlling her anger.  I'm so paranoid now that she is going to start gnawing on children again.  It's back to every time the phone rings, I am dreading answering it.  The therapist still wants to see the Drama Queen, she would like to figure out if there are issues there that she can help her work through, since being ditched by your mom, and being put second to everything else in the world by your dad can be no easy thing for any kid to swallow.  So next week our dear Drama Queen gets to see the therapist on her own.

We had a very busy week/weekend.  Maybe it is because this is just from my perspective, but I have so very little time with the girls.  My days seem so long, and I have two hours with them in the evening before they go to bed.  It is hard to involve having fun with them, and keeping the house clean, getting their soiled laundry going, dinner cooked, everything ready for school the next day, etc.  It helps a lot to have Uncle M around.  He usually does the retrieving from school/daycare and feeding portion of the evening.  I wish I could just enjoy all of the silly things they say/do, all of the hugs, and kisses being dished out as an attempt to put bedtime off a little bit longer, and enjoy watching them play instead of hurrying them along to beat the next deadline, but it's just not that way for a full time working "mom" and "dad".

There are some times that I can enjoy, and I would like to share with you a huge laugh Uncle M and I had at the Drama Queen's expense yesterday.  We were trying to get her to finish getting dressed, so that we could go to the Renaissance Festival.  She was having a difficult time chosing what outfit to wear, and I kept making suggestions to help her, but none of them were good enough.  I must tell you now that the nickname we use around the house is not Drama Queen.  I used that for her privacy in this very public blog.  At home, we call her JJ.  I have called her that from birth, although I say it with a very Hungarian twist and it sounds more like something Zsay Zsay (in reference to Zsa Zsa Gabor).  Everyone else in the household calls her JJ, and sometimes she calls herself that as well.  But back to the story, she's throwing a fit that she can't wear a pair of purple shorts that are a size too small for her - last time she wore them, she complained to me for two hours that they were too tight, but she had messed her pants, and it was all I had in my bag to put on her.  I suggested a pair of jean shorts that were a larger size and would be comfortable on her.  She again insists on wearing the small purple shorts.  At this point, I realize negotiations aren't going to work with her and I drop the N O bomb, then walk away to finish getting ready myself.  She shouts at me "NO doesn't work for JJ."  I could have been angry.  Some parents may say I should have been angry.  Instead... I burst out laughing.  It was the mere absurdity of a 5 yr old telling me that NO doesn't work for them.  Should I begin training her to be a sales rep now....  Uncle M and I have a good laugh over that.  Uncle M tells me he sees BLOG written all over this situation, and he is right, I can't help but share with all of you.  I tell our little Drama Queen that in this instance, NO will have to work for her, because she is not wearing shorts that are too small, and put them in the GoodWill donation bag that I have in the living room.  She takes that as end of argument, then gets dressed, and the ordeal is over, she even laughed with us after announcing that "NO doesn't work for JJ."

This weekend should have been a Redneck visitation weekend.  He is apparently out of town working on a contractor job (I'm pretty sure it is under the table... and wonder what he did with his full time job to work this gypsy job).  He had called at 7:00 to say that he might not be able to get a ride down to visit the girls, and I tell him that the Drama Queen is sick anyway, and I don't want to drag her out (this convo takes place Friday night - she is entirely recovered by Sunday for Ren Fest, I promise, it wasn't just an excuse - she had a high fever and was so tired on Friday night.).  I then tell him that we can play it by ear, because she seemed to be feeling better as she was eating chicken soup, and watching TV.  He informs me that you're supposed to feed a cold, but starve a fever, and I am shocked speechless, cause I can not imagine telling a 5 year old child "sorry honey, you can't eat today, you are running a fever."  I ignore the comment and tell him to call me on Saturday, and I will let him know what her condition is.  He also says he wouldn't care to "drop a $50.00 or $100.00 to take them somewhere they would have fun", and asks me to "find a place he could do that in our area."  Uncle M and I drop that much on them all the time when we take them out to do something fun.  I save up year round so that we can enjoy fall festivities, b/c October is my FAVORITE month.  I felt like the entire conversation with the Redneck was pointless, and a waste of my time.  I get so emotional and depressed after listening to his voice.

The Redneck called back at 1:15p on Saturday, and left me a message that he couldn't get a ride "down" here anyway, and he would like to see them next weekend.  I know I made him angry, but I called him back and let him know that I couldn't re-arrange our schedule because his schedule was different, and that we do have plans next weekend.  I have tried to work with him on schedules that are re-arranged, and he never pulls through on his end.  I am tired of trying to deal with his instabilities.  The girls haven't even asked about him.  He told me to tell them that "daddy loves them", but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.  I didn't want to mention him, or our conversation to them unless they ask me about him, because I don't want to cause them any upset.  If it is out of sight, and out of mind...  then that is for the best for now.  I may be wrong in that.  I hope that if I am, everyone involved can forgive me.  But if someone can't be a steady, stable part of their lives - then they don't deserve to be shoved down their throats.

To end this on a happy note - Halloween costumes are coming along nicely.  We rec'd the Drama Queen's Red Queen outfit in the mail last week, and she looks adorable in it.  This is the 2010 Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland Character we will model her after.



The Vampire's black cat costume is also in, and we just need to add gray and teal stripes to make it more like Tim Burton's Cheshire Cat, as you see in the photo below.  I'm sure she won't look anywhere near a creepy as this cat, though.






Uncle M's Hatter costume is in the very early stages of being done as I will work on his kilt soon, and he has picked up various pieces to pull some more of it together.  This is a photo of what we are shooting for, the Mad Hatter by Tim Burton in his 2010 Alice in Wonderland movie..


And finally, my wig is in, and my dress just needs some finishing touches to become Alice's "Hatter's Dress".  I promise to share photos when it is all done.  This isn't the most popular dress that Alice wore, but it was within my sewing skill, and it has an empire waist, which is most forgiving to my curvy body.  Below is a photo from the movie as well.

I hope everyone had a lovely weekend, and thanks again for taking the time out to read my rambles! 

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