Wednesday, November 3, 2010

The Dark Ages

It is Wednesday, November 3rd.  Since Thursday October 28th, I have been seeking new child care.  I have had a couple of places turn the Vampire away because of my honesty in her behavior.  Other places tell me that they are glad for my honesty, and that they will try to help me, but they have waiting lists.  The one place that doesn't have a waiting list also happens to be the most expensive, and I will be visiting there today, with the hopes that she can start some time soon.  In the mean time, my father has been watching her.  I am so grateful to have his assistance.  This week has thrown her off her usual routine so bad.  I wonder if we will ever get her back into it. 

The Drama Queen has in the last few weeks been giving Uncle M a really hard time.  I asked her why, and she told me she just doesn't like him.  I asked her why she doesn't like him, and she couldn't give me a reason.  I let the subject alone a little bit and asked her again, and she said he is mean to her.  I have never seen him be mean to her, and asked her what she meant by that.  She again said that she didn't know.  So I asked does he hit you?  She said No.  I asked if it's because he yells at her sometimes, and she said, "yes - that kind of mean."  I told her "I have to be "mean" to you sometimes, does that mean you don't like me?"  She said "No TT, I like you.  I don't like Uncle M."  I'm flabbergasted by this.  On top of the daycare situation, my house has been like a war zone with the Drama Queen fighting with Uncle M every step of the way.  It has been very dark times.

Now I'm faced with this new issue.  How do I pull Uncle M and the Drama Queen together to get them on even ground.  He doesn't seem to understand her.  She doesn't seem to want to put forth the effort to understand him.  I'm emotionally drained, and can't stand them going at each other constantly.  I'm at a point that I go through the motions of life and accomplish the things I know have to be done, and fall into bed every night with my eyes closing nearly the same time my head hits the pillow.  Since mid July I have done NOTHING but damage control on the biting situation.  Most of my time is spent researching about biting, role-playing about biting, and throwing my heart and soul into that precious three year old and that beloved five year old.

My house is a wreck.  I still haven't cleaned for fall and prepared for winter.  I should probably mow my lawn again before too long.  Garage desperately needs cleaned, as I recently discovered the outdoor cat has used the back corner of it as a litter box.  Basement has become a catch all for things I need to get out of sight when people come over.  I need to clean the girls' closet and buy the Drama Queen some new clothes for winter since she has so few.  Hobosis Jones needs a bath really badly.  I get the general things done like dishes and laundry.  I am grateful for Uncle M's help in everything, but I am a perfectionist to the core and when he washes dishes, but doesn't wipe off counters, tables, or sweep/mop the floor, I feel like I have to go behind him and do it again.  I can't stand a dirty mess.  When my house is a mess - so is my mind.  They tend to reflect one another and feed off of the state of one another. 

Uncle M hates his job.  I can't say I blame him.  The people he works for aren't very nice, and his co-workers are all really cut-throat.  I wouldn't be happy there.  That unhappiness spills over into home life I am sure.  He is less patient with the girls, and can't get past their inability to listen and do as they are told.  The therapist recommended a book called 1 2 3 Magic, and I just haven't had time to get to the store to buy it.  I am going to try after my meeting with this daycare on my lunch break, but it isn't looking too promising, and out next meeting with the therapist is tomorrow - I hope she isn't too upset with us for not having been able to follow through on that "homework" assignment.

I am up 4lbs. since I won the biggest loser contest we did here at work in October.  I have been exercising, but my eating habits have been out of control.  Planning meals and making sure I have fresh fruits/vegetables in the house have taken back seat to this entire daycare situation.  I'm really bummed about the weight gain, and had hoped to keep my momentum going to keep losing and get down to my goal.  I resolve to get back on track every morning, but I hit a bump in the daycare situation and drive straight for the first fast food joint on my lunch break because I really don't have time for anything else.  I need to figure out a way to see past this ditch I seem to have dug myself into. 

The Vampire is going to start speech therapy.  I really had to throw my weight around at the meeting on Friday to get the woman to take her on, but goal accomplished.  Now, every Friday, I have to take her to speech therapy, and pray it helps her to begin to use her words instead of her teeth.  The only time they had available was noon, and that will conflict with her nap time at any daycare I get her into, but what choice do I have?  They would like to get her into the daycare at the facility that she will be doing speech therapy, but there are six children on the waiting list in front of her.  It could be awhile.  I don't even know if this speech therapy will help as the therapist seemed so hesitant to take her on, but I have to try.  I don't know what else to do.

When I got out of the meeting on Friday for speech therapy, we drove up to Michigan to visit Uncle M's family.  We had a good time, and it was lovely to see everyone.  We were very busy all weekend, and the Vampire has missed her nap pretty much every day since last Wednesday.  You can only imagine what a bear she has been....  Uncle M won a costume contest for his Mad Hatter outfit.  He looked very Hatter-ish, and played the part well when on stage.  We were all very proud of him when he was announced winner.  He was stacked against a 350lb male tooth fairy, Dracula, a candy girl, a peacock, and the gold-digger.  He did very well.  On the trip home Sunday, we decided to stop for lunch.  It took way longer than we expected and we had to race home to trick-or-treat.  It was freezing, but we had a good time walking around with our friends and their kids.  The girls got soooo much candy, and it's no wonder my weight is going up instead of down.  It is so very hard to resist the siren song of a Reeces Cup.  Please bear with me if I'm not entirely upbeat right now.  The odds seem to be so stacked against me that I have struggled to keep my head up.  I am sure it will get better - just bear with me.


Aunt TT

1 comment:

  1. 1-2-3 Magic is wondeful!! Used it in the classroom. Stick with it and I promise it will work. Try amazon because not all bookstores carry it. That will help with less running around to do. Then I have fast food problem too. So try to maybe get the items you know are less fatten (even though a cheeseburger and french fries is what I need for bad days!!!). We all love you and know you will survive this and come out on top! Ask for help Aunt TT. Especialy with those of us who stay at home who could research things online for you. It takes a village to raise children correctly and we are here to help anyway we can!!!!!!!!

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