Monday, February 14, 2011

Through the Wringer

There has been a lot that has happened in the last week.  This blog is mostly about the Vampire.  She has been pretty wild.  I can not attribute the behaviors to any one thing, but she sure keeps me on my toes.  She has not been sleeping well at night.  She goes to sleep easy enough after she is put to bed ,which is something new that we were enjoying, but she has been waking up between 2-3am and staying awake till 4:30-5a.  She has, out of the blue, developed some pretty irregular sleeping patterns.  The wee hours of the morning that she is wide awake and roaming the house, I am a sleep depraved monster. Uncle M and I re-direct her back to bed, have her use the bathroom, make sure she isn't thirsty, etc.  None of it seems to work.  She's just wide awake.  I am praying this phase won't last long.

The Vampire has also been very angry...  vengeful.  She bit her sister on the leg yesterday.  There is a very large ugly purple and black bruise from the bite.  They were playing so good together, I had just complimented them on their play, and bam - the Drama Queen is wailing and the Vampire is heading for the hills.  We separated them.  I iced the Drama Queen's leg.  Uncle M told the Vampire that we don't bite anyone, and how disappointed he is with her, so now the Vampire is sobbing, and a hysterical mess.  All of the crying  in our house is fraying my nerves.  The Vampire is still being kind of mean to the kitten.  It worries me that I can tell her over and over and over not to do something, and she still does it.  I know, you're laughing at me.  This is something ALL parents go through.  The biggest complaint is that their kids don't listen to them.  She really honest to goodness does NOT listen.  I know I have told her at least 150 times since the Kitten (we call her Sophie) became part of our lives, not to chase her, not to pick her up, not to stand over her, etc.  She doesn't listen.  Well Sophie took her back claws to miss Vampire's belly on Friday, and I had to say to her "I don't have any sympathy for you, because of how many times I warned you she would hurt you!"  Sophie is so laid back and easy going, that I imagine she was trying to get away, or the dog scared her.  But at any rate, Kate has claw marks (they didn't break the skin) on her belly.

She also has a huge scratch on her back.  After she bit the Drama Queen yesterday, she was told to stay in her room while the Drama Queen was in the living room, icing her leg.  The Vampire is a sobbing wreck cause Uncle M has just lectured her, I am on the top bunk making the Drama Queen's bed, and all the sudden the sobs escalate into sob/screams.  She has (in the heat of a roaring temper tantrum) slid down the wall and her shirt rode up, and she scratched her back on the heating/cooling vent near the floor.  She also has bruises on her legs.  I do not know where they came from.  The Vampire and the Drama Queen seem to bruise so easily (as do I), and always seem to have bruises on their legs.  She also has a bite mark on her hand where she bit herself.  I dropped her off at her brand new daycare today thinking "please dear Lord.  Don't let these wonderful people think that I beat or abuse this child."

The new daycare seems like an amazing place.  The teachers are great with the kids.  They seem to keep them pretty active.  The Vampire however did bite at least one child today.  When I picked her up for a doctor's appointment around 10:00, she tried to tell me she didn't bite today... while I am signing the incident report.  While the director is explaining to me that she bit.  While I am trying to get her out the door and to this last minute doctor's appointment.  I was then very sad that she bit and more so because she thought she could lie to me about it.

On the way to the doctor, the Vampire informs me that she is going to pee on the doctor if the doctor touches her.  I am shocked and appalled by this.  Some parents may say I am over-reacting.  But this isn't some funny thing the kid says... I know in my heart that she means it.  She will try to pee on the doctor. So I get the Vampire to the doctor's appointment.  The doctor just brushed over my little girl and handed me a script for antibiotics and sent me on my merry way.  They didn't take her temp.  They didn't listen to her lungs, feel her lymph nodes, look in her nose/ears, anything.  I am thinking the whole time... "Maybe the Vampire should have peed on her..."  They might as well abolish the need for a script for antibiotics... cause I could have done the very same thing.  I tried to talk to the doc again about the biting, her cough, etc.  Only to be blown off with a bunch of medical jargon.  At this point in the day (10:30a), I am depressed that I didn't get much sleep, the Vampire is being out of control and mean to everyone, and the doctor doesn't seem to care about what I am saying to her.

Next we venture to the pharmacy.  I walk up to the counter with a firm grip on this 3.5 yr old who is trying to grab everything off the displays and either just toss it on the ground or rummage through it.  She is having another of her tantrums because she wants to go home, but I told her she has to go back to school.  The pharmacy tech then tells me that it will be a 20 minute wait on her script.  So I sit down, with the screaming, flailing, kicking child and pray that they see how pitiful I look and mix the antibiotics quickly to get me and the source of the ear piercing screams out of the store as quickly as possible.  The pharmacist took mercy on me (or he was unable to concentrate with all the noise the unruly child I was forcing to sit on my lap was making), and got me out of there in less than 10 minutes.  Once in the parking lot, she is trying to wrench away from me and run wild amongst the cars.  I am explaining to her over and over that we don't do that.  We hold hands in the parking lot and near cars.  She is having her 100th melt down of the day.  I am so exhausted I can not fathom going back to work, and wishing that I could just touch this child's mind and let her know that I will never intentionally steer her wrong and, it is just best to listen to me.  I wonder if she is exhausted from her lack of sleep, and all of her shenanigans, but can't help but doubt even that as the only sign she shows of being tired is her severe irritability.  If only I had that energy....

We are now set to seeing a specialist for her medical issue on 2/25.  It is the earliest I could get her in.  It is sad that it is going to take two weeks, but I will have to suck it up and do everything I can to keep her comfortable until then.  I am also going to practice being more forceful and forward when speaking to the doctor about her issues because I am so tired of being swept under the carpet.  I am sorry that I am not explaining to you exactly what this medical issue is, but until I am certain of it's nature, I can not disclose it for the Vampire's privacy.  Just know that it is nothing life threatening or dangerous, and I am doing everything in my power to help her heal from it.

The Drama Queen is enjoying her piano lessons.  She doesn't like to practice but if she asks to play her D.S. I will tell her that she has to practice on her piano for 15 minutes, then she will be allowed to play.  We set the timer and let her sit and practice.  She is picking up a little bit from it all.  She starts Girl Scouts tomorrow.  At least I hope she does.  I called the secretary of the school (I have no other contact) and spoke with her because it was never confirmed to me that she was accepted into the troop, and she couldn't tell me for certain.  So I am bracing myself for the phone call tomorrow "Ms Aunt TT...  You have forgotten to pick your child up from school..."  How much worse of a parent can I be!?!?  Uncle M did call the Drama Queen's bluff on the rice last Monday.  He offered it to her and told her "It's Monday!"  She finally said "I really don't like it."  So she didn't have to eat it after all.  We went to a birthday party on Saturday evening, and Uncle M came up with the idea of putting balloons in the Drama Queen's hair to make it float.  It was very funny.



The sitter was more civil by Friday last week.  She told me she wishes me luck, cause she doesn't give up on kids, but in the past two weeks, has wanted to give up on the Vampire.  Everyone wants to give up on her.  She pushes people to those limits.  She is so strong willed and emotional, that it is very draining trying to help her learn to cope with those different emotions.  I was telling a friend today that although I love both girls the same amount, I do love them differently.  With the Drama Queen, I can be a little bit of a friend and have fun with her because I know she will make good decisions about things.  With the Vampire, I have to be more of the disciplinarian.  I can't have as much fun with her because I am always re-directing her behavior, or worrying about her hurting someone.  It is so hard to see when that switch is flipped from Dr. Jeckyl to Mr. Hyde.  The Vampire really puts me though the wringer.  The new biting necklace I purchased for her has been destroyed.  I bought two, and am not giving her the other one because in one day... she chewed the daylights out of the one I let her have.  I am going to cut the terrycloth necklaces that she has been using in the back, and sew velcro on them so that they can break-away (thank you Uncle M for the idea) and just send her to school with them tomorrow.  I just wish I could help this child see how beautiful life could be if she just stops trying to swim against the current for a little bit and tries to work with others.  But then I would be altering her personality, and if I could maybe guide this strong willed little girl into a strong willed woman with good morals and upbringing...  then maybe she will accomplish something truly fantastic some day.

Aunt TT

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