Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Finding the words

So this is the week of my first 5K.  One of my good friends will be jogging with me, as will my aunt, cousin, and some of my aunt's friends.  I am nervous - I haven't trained as hard as I should in the past two weeks.  My knees have been hurting a little bit, but I am excited.  There is a carnival after the run - and we will end up buying the girls some tickets and letting them ride rides, etc.  I saw in the weather that it is supposed to R A I N this weekend.  I am hoping it will hold off until AFTER the 5K at 9:00 am. 

Drama Queen has been a super grump lately.  I don't know if it is because she knows her mom is back in town or not.  She won't talk to me.  I have to pry out of her the smallest of details.  When I pick her up from school here is our typical conversation. 

TT: "did you have a good day?"
JJ: "uh huh"
TT: "did you stay on green"
JJ: "nope"
TT: "how's come?"
JJ: *shoulder shrug*
TT: "what happened Miss J"
JJ: "I don't know - I guess cause I didn't listen to Mrs. B."
TT: "why did you think it is OK not to listen to your teacher?"
JJ: *shoulder shrug*
TT: "well I hope that you will listen to her tomorrow - she has a tough job, and you make it even harder when you don't listen."
JJ: "ok"
TT: "what did you have for lunch today"
JJ: "i don't remember"
TT: "was it cold mush?"
JJ: *shrug*
TT: "was it fried toadstools with chocolate covered mosquitos?"
JJ: "NO TT."
TT: "was it pizza?"
JJ: "no"
TT: "was it warm mush?"
JJ: eyes roll and "no"
TT: "was it chicken nuggets?"
JJ: "yeah."
TT: "what did you eat with the nuggets?"
JJ: "I dunno."
I continue to question until I get something for I don't know... 10 minutes... and she finally breaks down and says
JJ: "I was the busy bee today!"
TT: "that's wonderful!  What special things did you get to do as the busy bee?"
JJ: *shrug* "you will have to guess TT."

And the guessing game again ensues.  It's like pulling teeth to have a normal conversation to see what kind of day this kid had.  *sigh*  So she's not the type of kid who will walk up to you and say "I'm missing my mommy right now."  She is they type of kid who will yell, scream, rant, and rave, and you will have to guess, "Miss J - are you doing all of this because you miss your bio mom?"  This morning when she was grouching at me about her shoes, I just hugged her and hugged her and hugged her - then said, "there!  Did that help?".  She smiled a little and shook her head yes. 

The Vampire has been biting an average of 3 -4 times a week.  She will have a "ridiculously perfect" day - then she will have a totally terrible day.  There isn't much gray area.  She has been whiny too, and needing to be snuggled a lot lately.  I don't know if this is also aftermath of knowing that bio mom is in town - or just a phase she is going through.  The only way I could get her to lay still to sleep last night was to wrap her in my arms and snuggle her.  She still wakes me up in the night - needing to be held.  I still wrap my arms around her and hold her.  She is favoring me over Uncle M lately.  I guess she has just needed that mothering.  I don't know what the difference is.  He has had to be the "bad guy" lately, though and has been doing the bulk of the work on the rewards chart with her.  She is still peeing in her pants.  We are still fighting that battle with her.

The greenhouse is doing well.  Uncle M gets excited when he sees a new sprout, and loves to run and tell me all about it.  I hope to find some time this week to get some more soil for our flower box up near the house and get that planted soon.  We have chamomile, tomatoes, poppies, hollyhock, thyme, chives, and other plants that I would like to get planted soon.  We have extra sprouts, if anyone local needs any.  Just shoot me an e-mail.  I will get them to you.  I have to re-start the cucumbers - they aren't doing so well for some reason. 

There is so much to do with dance season heating up, ASD testing (this friday), 15 year class reunion planning, weight loss/5K training, etc.  So forgive me if I get lost a little over the next few weeks - or if my thoughts aren't as cohesive as they should be.  Thanks again for all of your support and advice.  It is so nice to have such a wonderful support circle!!

Aunt TT

1 comment:

  1. It has to be tough. And sometimes kids are like that with school. It sounds pretty typical, and those girls have more to deal with than other kids do unfortunately.

    That's so cute about the greenhouse and the sprouts.

    The 5k will be fine, jog as you can and walk when you need to. I really enjoy walking 5 days a week now, sometimes I don't want to, but I always feel good about doing it and I think it makes some difference. We have been taking my friend's 2 dogs with us now. It is nice to see the different people, families, dogs, and ducks and geese at the park.

    Hang in there! You are always close to my heart. Thinking of you today! :)