Monday, August 22, 2011

Elation and Depression

Friday I took DQ shopping for school.  Spent around $45.00 for supplies, and $120.00 on school uniforms.  The skirts alone cost $40.00 apiece.  I about fell over.  I will be trying to buy the rest on consignment from now own.  SHEESH!  I was in complete sticker shock.  I bought two skirts, and 5 shirts, and figured I will just be doing a lot of laundry.

M and I are working on a project for Christmas, and spent the rest of Friday working on it.  All I can really say is a friend of mine recently did one of these and it turned out fantastic (Thanks Nic), and I got the crazy idea to do one as well.  I would tell you what it is, but it would ruin Christmas presents for people so I must skirt around the subject.  M and I have been working hard on the project.  Friday night we snapped some more photos for it, and were doing everything that needed to be done while the girls played hide and seek.  Their version of hide and seek is one stands in the kitchen, while the other runs to us and says, "HIDE ME!".  So we alternate helping the other one hide, then tell the one in the kitchen (who is supposed to be counting, but has given up on that) that the "hidee" is ready, and the game commences.  Switch "seeker" and "hidee" and repeat.  While we did that Friday night...  someone opened my back door, and left it open.  My cats (all two of them.  Bombaata and Lil Bit) got out.  We didn't know they were missing until sometime the next day.  I was so tired, and I haven't been feeling well, that I didn't even know my cat was missing.  I have really beat myself up over this.

Bombaata is 13.5 years old.  He's my baby.  He and I have been through hell and back together.  I am so broken-hearted over this.  We found Lil Bit on Saturday shortly after we realized they were missing.  She is safely back in the house.  Baata on the other hand... is still gone.  I spent the better part of the weekend alternating between crying my eyes out and waiting by the back door for him, to being hopeful and searching the neighborhood for him.  I hope and pray he comes home soon.  I yelled at the Vampire because she was smiling and telling me that he probably got hit by a car on Saturday.  I snapped.  I was distraught, and it hit me wrong.  The fact that I am human and I make mistakes came shining through when I yelled at her, "what are you?  Psychotic?" and stormed off out of the room.  I have felt very bad about this.  I apologized to her that evening, and hugged her.  I told her that mommy is very sad that my kitty is gone, and that I was angry with her for playing with the door when she knows she shouldn't.  When you are a parent... it is so hard NOT being perfect sometimes.  I also beat myself up over this.

That is the bit of depressing news that took up my entire weekend.  Now for the good news...  DQ started school today!   She was accepted to the Private school.  I am really happy with the Private School thus far.  It is more individualized.  I got to spend time with her today on her first day and meet the teachers, etc.  It is a lovely school as well.  I am so excited for her.  We have been sweating bullets trying to figure out if she was accepted for the scholarship or not for the past few weeks.  Checking the mailbox like a woman in the 1920's waiting to hear from her love who is away at war.  Well today...  we got news that she HAS been approved for the scholarship.  Now I don't have to sell a kidney to pay for her schooling.  Kidding of course, but it is pricey.  Now we can relax a little and be thankful that at least she will get a good education.  I mean heck... they teach the kids stringed instruments in 1st grade there!  They have to wear uniforms, but she looks so stinking cute in her uniform.  It is a world apart from the local public schools.  I know it won't be perfect, but I am so glad we made this choice!


Vampire had a rough day at school today.  The teachers think she was tired, but I think it is b/c the extra teacher has been moved out of the classroom.  She bit twice, and bragged about one of the bites to another class mate.  I have a feeling this week will be rough, and wonder how well she will do w/o the extra teacher.  She had to stay in her bedroom and play with a limited number of toys as punishment for biting.  The weekend at home wasn't perfect due to the disruption of my kitty being gone, and my anger/sadness in dealing with it.  But I really don't think that was the major factor in her biting today.  She is testing the waters w/o the 3rd teacher.  Seeing how far she can push things.  She likes to be in control, and she has learned how to control thru the biting... Our therapist suggested that we don't try to get V into the private school with DQ next year if she is still struggling with her aggression, etc.  There is a school in town for autistic children, and she has suggested that we try that.  So we do have options next year if it looks like she isn't ready for the general population yet. 

So begins a new chapter in our lives.  I'm praying and hoping that my kitty comes home.  I'm supporting my little 1st grader (can't believe she's in first grade all ready).  I'm hoping and praying that V will understand that being in control isn't always the best thing at the age of 4, and will stop trying so hard to manipulate people.  She is SUPPOSED to start Kindergarten next fall too.  So we have a lot of work ahead of us to get her ready for that.  Of course there is work, and getting ready for up coming holidays in the mix (Labor Day fun with Martin's family), but that is what we are up to right now.  And aside from my kitty being gone...  and V having hurt people today... I wouldn't change it for the world.

Aunt TT

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