Friday, September 2, 2011

When life gives you lemons...

....you throw them right back at him.  Well it backfired on me this time.  He threw them back at me and now I'm sporting a bruised ego and spiraling into a black bottomless pit.  Why you may ask?  What can be so horrible in life?  Well...

1.  My beloved cat still isn't home.  As of tonight, he will have been gone for 14 days.  Last night he was gone one day for every precious year I spent with him.  13.  I woke in the middle of the night and could have sworn I felt his weight on my body.  As he used to stretch out across me and snuggle with me.  I cried.  Realizing I may never feel him with me again.  Be able to scratch his shoulders like he liked or feel the comfort of him by my side after a hard day.  To those of you who aren't animal lovers, I know you may not understand the depth of my loss.  You may not understand why I mourn a cat.  But he was one of my best friends.  He may have just been a stupid animal to you, but he was a faithful friend, and very much like a child to me.  This is really hard for me.

2.  The scholarship that we were accepted for by the Dept. of Education in the State of Ohio has been taken from us.  Why you ask?  Due to the way the custody papers read.  A school that is not in academic probation paid for DQ to go to school last year, b/c that was the district that her biological mother lived in when she left the children.  The state of Ohio informed me on Wednesday that we are now NOT eligible for the scholarship.  She explained that this happens to 3-4 people a year, and I'm just one of those people.  This is heartbreaking for me.  My only option is to fight to get the school district that her mother used to live in to drop us and refuse to pay for us, get the district we do live in to pay for us, and re-apply for the scholarship next year if the stars are aligned in all the right positions, and I dance a little jig in my underwear, on the 6th Tuesday of the 14th month of the year.  OK... so I am being dramatic.  But I do have quite a few hoops to jump through, and none of them are easy.

3.  One of the ladies I work with just lost her 26 year old nephew in a tragic motorcycle accident.  My heart goes out to the family.  It is a very sad story indeed as the car he ran into was being driven by a 19 year old girl.  She is being charged with a 2nd degree misdemeanor of vehicular homicide.  The 26 year old boy leaves behind a pregnant girlfriend, and a family who loved him very much.  As well as many friends, etc.  Very sad situation.  She has been out of work, and I do understand that she does need to be, but it puts a lot more stress on my all ready broad shoulders.

Now....  I will end this on a good note and discuss the good in my life.  As I know it isn't all horrible.  I apologize to my friends and loved ones if I have been moody, and irritable.  I am just under so much stress right now.  I am so very depressed at the loss of my furry little guy.  Please bear with me.

1.  The co-worker who's grand children were nearly killed by a drunk driver last Thursday has given us a ray of good news.  The 1 year old's eye socket was shattered, but she is healing very nicely.  The children have been at home since Monday night.  The 2 year old has a shaved head, and has to wear a helmet due to the bones in her skull having to be removed, and the holes they had to drill to keep the pressure off, but she is recovering as well.  She misses her hair, but hair will grow back.  The impt. thing is they are alive, there was no paralysis, no brain damage, and the wounds they did suffer will heal.

2.  My children are healthy and happy.  DQ isn't taking this move very hard.  I nearly cried when she said goodbye to her friends, but she just smiled and said goodbye.  She is excited to start at the public school on Tuesday, and hoping that her friend Gabby from her old school will be there.  She has been a real trooper.  No complaining.  No whining.  Just going with the flow and trusting that I am trying to do my best by her.  Vampire is doing fairly well.  She is still stubborn and obstinate, but she has had only 1 biting day out of 10.  She is talking a little clearer.  She loves for me to spray my "fume" on her, but I refuse to know what she is talking about until she says "perfume".  I know...  it's so stinking cute when she calls it "fume" but I can't let her be lazy with her speech.  I have to resist the temptation to enable her. 

3.  M is healthy.  I can't say he is happy right now watching me mourn the loss of my cat, and watching me fall apart under the stress that I try to appear so brave about to everyone else, but he is hanging in there.  His allergies have been bothering him, but he doesn't complain about it often, and just tries the OTC meds to help himself feel better.  His cousins will be down this weekend, and I think it will be good for him to spend some time with them.

4.  I am healthy.  I haven't had much of an appetite, or been able to sleep very well, but I am healthy.  I don't have any life threatening diseases, and for that I am so thankful. 

5.  Lil Bit and Hobie are healthy.  Lil Bit isn't as loving toward me as Bombaata was, but I have hope that she may grow to be more lovable with time and patience.  My heart longs for another cat since I am afraid my boy is lost to me, but I just can't do that right now.

6.  I still have my job.  My employers are flexible with all of the insanity I have had to deal with recently.  I am so grateful for them.

7.  I have some pretty great friends.  I love them, and am so thankful for them.

8.  I have some pretty wonderful family members.  I love them and I am thankful for them.

So I guess the good outweighs the bad.  I have 3 bad things compared to 8 good things.  I just get so overwhelmed with the stress of it all sometimes.  I do apologize!

Aunt TT

1 comment:

  1. Hi ALANNAYH,
    I found your blog via sparkpeople.And I am so glad to have found you.I have recently enrolled for weight loss.Though I am lost at the moment and kinda depressed as well because of my never shedding weight.But I still hope to get help and inspiration from people like you.Well I read about your cat.I am sorry for your loss.I am too an animal lover myself, I have a spaniel dog.And I can understand the emotional attachment one shares with their pet.If at times my dog gets even slight viral fever I cannot sleep until he is peacefully sleeping.I hope wherever you cat is, he will come back to you soon...till then you find strength to deal with this dreadful situation.

    But anyway no sad talks.
    Hi I am Apurva from INDIA and I would really like to be your friend.You can find me on my blog. :)

    P.s. I am following your blog now ^_^

    <3 Apurva

    ReplyDelete