Thursday, January 19, 2012

Seven Years Ago Today

Unlike some other moms, I don't have the bittersweet stories of birth.  I can't compare photos of how big I got when I was pregnant.  I can't talk about how wonderful (or horrible) the birth process it's self was.  I can't recount to my children even the exact time of their births... or how much they weighed.  I simply don't remember these facts.  I hope my mom has them, and I should really get with her soon on all of this info, as I would like to put a baby book together for Vampire, and finish DQ's.  But I don't have any of that. 

What do I have?  I have vague memories of their births.  I have a half finished baby book for DQ.  I have a button that I wore after V was born.  My birthing helper badge!  I video'd post birth of Z-man, and I'm fairly certain with DQ as well.  Mom has that video, and I really want to get a copy of it.  V came so fast that there wasn't time to video her birth.  But I did cut her cord... the doctor tricked me into it.  I didn't really want to do it, but he was all "here will you hold these" and handing me the scissors... then next thing I know, he's like "OK - cut right here."  And I'm like, "WHAT???"  Good times...

On this very day seven years ago I got called to the hospital in the early morning hours.  Z-man and DQ both made their entrances into the world in the wee hours of the morning.  V was right around lunchtime.  I raced to the hospital, giddy, excited, nervous about my second live birth.  We knew my sister was having a girl, and I was so excited to meet my new niece.  This little girl held a special place in my heart because my sister had informed me that she would be my namesake. 

DQ was born just before dawn.  I can tell you that she came out healthy, and normal.  She cried and fussed.  I cried and fussed all over her.  My sister was exhausted but happy to see that her baby was healthy.  Mom and dad were both there too, and they were elated.  Another successful birth.  Another beautiful baby in the family.  DQ was mom and dad's 5th grandchild, and welcomed into the family with open arms.

DQ - you spent your 5th birthday with me.  I had custody of you for just over 6 months by then, and your big 5th b-day present was getting your ears pierced.  You were so brave through the first one, and with a little bit of coaxing - you let them do the 2nd.  You were so happy to feel like a big girl.  We had a little birthday party at home and invited all of your friends/family.  You were so happy.  Your biological mother had called a few days after.  She did not forget your birthday.  You were too interested in playing with the DS that you got for Christmas, though, and didn't really speak to her much.

For your 6th birthday, again we had a huge party at the house.  Family and friends came again, and we celebrated the day that you came to be in our lives.  Your biological mother didn't call this year.  Circumstances kept her away.  She was a mother again.  To your little half-brother, Brayden.  But I am sure she didn't forget you.  Daddy and I got you a new game for your DS, and some new clothes.  Again, it was a good day.

We celebrated your 7th birthday last weekend.  You wanted a party at Skateway, and that's what you got.  We invited all of your cousins, and because our family is so large, we couldn't invite any other friends.  Mommy and Daddy just couldn't afford the money we would have to pay for the extra kids.  You were amazing on skates!  You won the limbo contest.  You seemed so happy!  You got to roll a huge dice, and ended up winning 200 tickets to spend!  You bought some crazy mouthguard that lights up when you push your tongue against it.  Daddy tried to fix your broken DS, but it didn't go as well as he hoped, so we will be buying you a new one here soon. 

But today is the day.  The wonderful day that you came into our lives.  We plan on taking you out to dinner tonight at the place of your choice of course.  I baked you cookies to take to school and share with your class mates today.  You got to wear your "birthday girl" ribbon on your shirt.  You were such a good little girl today while getting ready for school, and when I commented on how enjoyable it was to not fight with you, you  smiled and said, "It's MY BIRTHDAY!" 

On the ride to work, we talked a little.  You asked me what time you were born, and I told you early in the morning.  You asked if I was there, and I said of course!   I recounted what I remember of your birth.  You called your biological mom by name, and asked me about her.  You asked where she moved away to.  I told you Arkansas.  You asked me if she was still there.  I told you she is living in the area.  You asked me if she had her own house now, because you told me that you remember living in a car with her.  I told you that I heard she is living in a trailer now.  I asked what you remember of your biological mom, and you told me that you remember living in a car, and having only one toy.  You remember me coming to get you one weekend and taking you and your brother to the water park.  You remember me taking you somewhere to get your face and hair painted. 

I asked you if you were asking me about your mom because you are hoping she can become stable and that you might want to go back and live with her.  You told me that you don't want to live with her, but it would be nice to maybe see her now and then.  I told you that we would talk to the therapist about it, and go from there.  You were happy, and you smiled.  Through this whole conversation you smiled.  I marveled at your strength, and I thanked all of the powers that be that you want me. 

When we got into the car so I could take you to school, you put your hands on your little hips and said, "MOM - where is my birthday present?"  I said, "Now you know that Daddy and I are getting you a DS."  You quickly responded, "I know - I meant my OTHER present!"  I was puzzled, and asked you, "dinner tonight?"  You smiled and said, "No mommy - my birthday hug!!"  I reached back from the driver seat to the back seat and hugged you.  I had hugged you countless times this morning, but I'll never turn down a hug from you. 

So I love you DQ.  Today is your day.  I hope it is the best day ever.  I'm so happy you have come to live with me.  My heart fills with such love and joy when it comes to you and your sister.  You are such an intelligent, beautiful, and talented child.  I will thoroughly enjoy continuing to watch you grow and learn!!

Aunt TT

1 comment:

  1. I'm so happy that you had that talk with her and that she calmed your fears of her wanting to live with her birth mother. YOU, no matter what, are these girls Mommy, and nothing will/can ever change that.

    Happy Birthday DQ!!