Friday, September 21, 2012

Kindergarten Suspension

Today is Friday.  The day was going well until around 11:30, when my cell phone rang.  I recognized the girls school number on it, and picked it up.  The sweet school secretary asked me if I was V's guardian.  I told her yes.  She said that there was an emergency at the school, and she asked if I could come right away.  I asked what was wrong, was V hurt?  She assured me it wasn't a medical emergency, but couldn't go into detail with what was going on.

I was alone at work.  One co-worker was at the other store, the other on vacation.  So I let my boss know I had to leave, and the co-worker at the other store said she would come up to my store to cover me.  I left the office in the capable hands of the service manager and fled to the school, fighting tears the whole way.  My stomach was in knots.  I didn't know what happened, and was afraid of what I would be walking into.

Once I pulled up at the school I noticed a couple helping their Kindergarten aged child into their vehicle, and they looked at me a little too long... I wondered if V hurt them, and they were wondering if I was her parent...  looking for someone to blame.  But what I noticed most of all?  The police cruiser parked right in front of the school.  I kept thinking, "Please tell me that isn't for V..."

An aide led me to the principal, who happened to be in V's classroom.  When I walked in, I notice the police officer....  and V hiding under a table... surrounded by a huge mess.  Every chair was overturned.  Every bucket of crayons (on each table) was thrown everywhere.  There were little yellow handled safety scissors all over the place.  Mustard yellow pencils strewn everywhere.  I couldn't breathe for a second.  I looked at the officer in shock and said, "did she do this?"  "Yes."  He responded.  "All of it.  Does she do this at home?"  I am still staring wide eyed, and tell him no.  He nods, sees me on the brink of tears, then asks me to come with him into the hallway.

He asks me what is going on.  I tell him I am in shock over this.  I explain to him her history, how I have been trying to get her help, but due to her age... no one really wants to touch her.  He tells me that there is a special place in heaven for people like me.  People who take on the hurt, lost, innocent.  But he makes it clear that this can not happen.  I assure him I know that, and am heart broken to think that it did.  He lets me know that she didn't just overturn chairs, but that she also hurt her teacher, and a few other students.  He tells me he understands from a personal point of view how she could be angry, and that he knows that she can grow up to be someone great, as he came from a rough childhood, but made something of himself.  He gives me hope.  Although it is  glimmer of hope, I still feel the weight of the situation.  I know there is no quick fix.  There is no magic cure.  I also know that her days at this school are probably limited.

The principal suspends her from school for five days.

She seems oblivious.  Either she doesn't understand the gravity of the situation... or she doesn't care.  Either way, it isn't good.

So we made an emergency appointment with her therapist, who is now suggesting another psych eval, and possibly even meds.  One of the things I have been working hard to keep her from having to do.  But if it is what is best for her, then I must consent.  We have a rough road ahead of us.  We have a lot of decisions before us.

I love this little girl with my heart and soul.  On the way to work, I couldn't help but cry.  She asked me why I was crying, and I told her that it breaks my heart that she could hurt anyone.  Again, she seemed phased not in the least.  Therapy was the same.  She seemed oblivious.

So that was our day today.  Hopefully we can get to the bottom of this, and soon.  Maybe this will be a blessing in disguise.  Maybe this will prove that there is something going on, and she will get the help she needs....  I can only hope.  I second guess my decision to put her in Kindergarten so early now.  But paying for daycare was putting us in the  poorhouse.  It seems that every decision I have to make for this beautiful child is a lesser of two evils.  I wish things could be different.  I just don't know how to make them so.  I hope that somehow I will be given the wisdom to do what is right by V.  She can be such an amazing child when she keeps her temper under control.  So full of love and giggles.  I admit I have distanced myself from  her a little because for me she has also been full of heartache.  Seeing sights like I saw today.... knowing that the police had been called on my 5 year old...  It's just so hard to take.  So hard to know what to do to help her turn her life around.  But I have to figure out something fast.  Oh and figure out where she can stay for 5 days next week while she is out of school and M and I still have to be at work.  This child is such a puzzle....

Aunt TT


  1. Tabby, I am so sorry your family is going through such a heartache! I couldn't begin to imagine what those girls are feeling, or the sacrifices you have made to keep them together in your care. I know you will pull through this and every single moment will be worth it when one day they realize what you have done for them.

  2. It seems to me that this little girl would benefit from some home schooling. Have you looked into that? You are amazing with those girls and you will continue to help them thrive. Luckily they have you to fight for them!!

  3. I am so sorry this happened to you. I think we overmedicate children in modern society. My husband was diagnosed with ADHD as a child and his parents enrolled him in martial arts instead of putting him on meds. But when violence is involved, and you live every day in fear that she might seriously hurt someone, what other options do you have? It may be the miracle V needs to be functional in society. It could really, really help her. And if it doesn't, in the very least you can say you have tried it, and it didn't work. *super big giant squishy hugs*